1st May 2008 (Thursday)
Tmr is my CCC performance.
Today's rehearsal was quite bad @_@ how to start? Erm- well... everything was juz quite screwed. & every1 is stressing wif our big day being tmr.
Director Guo asked yulin if our play r so agitated & emotional all e tym. AAAAAHHHH!! & he's a great reader of people.
OPs x_X
coz we were very anxious to get things done. I was shouting across to Yinghsuan. Yinghsuan was shouting at e actors, at me. Yijun was shouting at Yinghsuan too. I was shouting at Yijun, she was shouting at me too.
We were juz very agitated.
Director Guo asked if tat's our way of communication.
ErR- Who communicates by shouting to each other?
He called us 3 over for a talk after our actors went to have lunch.
Before tat, we were totally running out of tym. Jianfeng kept asking us to keep to our schedule. & we were juz becoming more & more uptight. & then e lights sound keep having problems.
When they let out actors off to eat, I climbed to e control room. Being e slow person I am, it took me quite some time to tell tat yinghsuan was crying. Coz e house lights were not on. I was lyk.. OH MY SKY! My director is crying!!!! What do I do??? Oh my sky!!!
Then Director Guo asked us to discuss everything properly. To relax. If we get emotional, nothing will get done. & we are really too emotional. All of us.
aaaahhhh @_@
haix T.T
He was settling our problem of not having enough tym to test lights sound. I've seen so many of my people break down during these tyms. My actors, Yijun my stage manager, & then I broke down yesterday after I realised tat we would not be able to do a full run today & even our props & our backdrop were not completed yet. But my director was juz calm & at most she'd only raise her voice a bit.
I think today was juz too much. We all haf 2 burst 1 day when everything juz accumulates.
& then seeing everything fall apart, I started to break down oso. Yijun was comforting me, telling me tat yahs, if both Yinghsuan & I r lidat, wad will happen to our play? aaahhhh I felt so bad. I went to hide in a corner by myself & after crying I realised that I was really being very unfair to God. He was the one who put me in this position. Not for no reason. & yet I had been trying to take things into my own hands all the time. I think by doing that, I was unable to let God work His wonders.
So I gathered my feelings & went back. Director Guo asked us for a chat. We couldn't find yinghsuan. I had a feeling she was in e washroom. Jianfeng called her & true enough. So I went to go & find her. She was crying. I didn't noe wad 2 say except to give her a pat on the shoulder. haix T.T then Director Guo asked us, what would it do to be lyk wad we r now? wud things get done? Would we be able to work properly? Yes, we 3 may haf differing opinions, but then Yijun & I are at e stage area. What can we see? Yinghsuan is e 1 in e control room, up there who can see everything. So what we should do is to trust her & to follow wad she says. If something goes wrong, our job is to remind, not to juz throw temper. Becoz if we do tat, we will all not be in a gd mood. & wad happens? we scold our actors. Our actos r unhappy wif us. Nobody is happy & e play will not be put up to its potential standard.
Everything he said made perfect sense. I guess when all of us r stressed, we tend to forget tat. I think what I've not been doing properly is to assist Yinghsuan & tat's quite bad of me. Coz I'm e assistant director! wad else can I do if I dun assist my director?
After talking to Director Guo, Yinghsuan left again, teary-eyed. Yijun was going to cry too. I was like, oh my sky!!! Who do I comfort now??!! @_@ Yijun told me to juz go chase after our director. So I did. aaahhhh!!
In e end, Yulin & I were waiting outside. Yinghsuan said she needed tym to collect herself so we left her alone. She's very funny, she cried until her eyes were swollen & when Shengli asked her to open e door, she was covering them wif tissue paper. It supposedly relieve swelling!!! LOLS?!?! So funny lahs she.
Yulin was lyk saying, she cry until very cute. I was lyk LOLS!!! Then we all calmed down & laid out everything properly. Prioritised. Wad we were gona get done. Reminded ourselves to keep to e schedule. & somehow, everything was juz more smooth.
Chloe, u have got to control ur emotions! & ur job is to assist, not to juz sit back & point out e problem, but not provide a solution.
I'm really never this emotional! Yet recently...T.T Tuesday I flared up. Wednesday I broke down. Today I broke down again. HAIX
God, please help me!!! I lift all these feelings up to You for they won't help our progress but instead, hinder it. Lord, we have put in so much effort for this play. I really pray that You will bless this play & our actors & actresses. (:
Thank you everyone who have been encouraging me. Sijie, Hon, Yixiu, Sheppie, Louis, Den... & e list goes on & on & on ^^ Thank you everyone
