8th April 2008 (Tuesday)
update: Chloe has got a new phone. Nokia 5610. it hangs when u switch it on -.- yijun has kindly told me, DO NOT touch anything when it switches on. After 3 minutes then it's safe to press anything. I think I'll juz haf it on 24-7. I lyk e design. & e template I'm using now (:
HmM [".]
Sometimes I wonder why I bother being nice to others... It is quite saddening when people r juz insensitive to it.
-.-
Oh well...maybe 1 day I should juz flare up & stop brainwashing myself.
Only... Chloe is at most irritated. Being peeved is another ultitude altogether.
In the hub now [."]
something grabbed my attention today. I tried to take matters in2 my own hands when I saw tat I hadn't finished my AQ & it had to be done by 2nd period 2dae. So I said, I'm skipping econs lecture 2 do AQ. In e end... I din do much. Hon was upset today but she was fine after crying awhile. God, I hope she's ok. [".]
Anyway, normally I wud juz 4get it, coz I alwaz nvr do. Either coz of exhuastion or juz pure procrastination. (reminds me of wad Louis told us on monday) & I wud tell God, ops! nvm lahs, I will do it during breaks. (If I don't it means I end up handing in quite late @_@) But somehow, things will alwaz turn out fine. E teacher will not think about it, nobody hands it up or lyk for today, mrs Lofthouse asked us to finish it in class during our double period. LOLS -.- So I skipped econs lect for my 1st tym ever for nothing.... Maybe I shud haf juz let things take their course.
=.=
& went for econs lect -.- aaaahhhh.... e monster called guilt is attacking me.
hahas~ .___.
I'm falling sick. Very bad sore throat & dry cough...
I'm afraid I will lose my voice by 2nd May 08. I pray that I will be in my best condition T.T
Sometyms, I really dun understand. What is wrong with you? if you'd juz stop being so *UGH* you'd realise that u r really juz being ridiculous. Pardon my frustration & my tactlessness. I don't know what to do with you. about you. around you. Wait. I don't even know you anymore. Then again, I never did know you...
Faith. Something tat cant be seen. E only word the handmaids in margaret atwood's 'The handmaid's tale' are allowed to read. Faith can't be drawn. Milk & Honey can be substituted wif pictures. But no... not faith.
Wad an abstract concept. Faith.
What happens when one stops caring? Does it hurt more or less? Is it numb or even more heart-rending?
Now my post sounds emo =.= But I'm not. Juz wondering.
Don't all humans wander? they might by physically there but their mind is somewhere else.
God is silent now. Why? Why does He choose to be silent? Does He not know that she's suffering? I don't believe she's completely over it & unaffected by it. God, can't You see all of us praying & fasting & crying & begging You to help her? can You please answer. can we not change Your will with our determination & faith?
I think I'm drifting away... from so many people & from God. Think I'm losing it. I'm this close to being torn apart.
