Falling sick (physical of course)
I have a feeling it's because of the NUS tutorial room where I have my job training, it's really VERY cold. The air-conditioner's condition is aptly described in 1 word: SIAO -.-" You can't seem to adjust the temperature as & when you want to, no matter how many degrees you add/minus it remains at 21.5 degress celcius. & it is really FREEZING cold.
After that, it broke down! ^^ YAY Yesterday's training was super ... (I have to be frank) boring. It was so super content heavy & I dozed off to sleep whilst trying very hard to listen. (so much for being salt & light huh? But seriously, I was really trying my best & struggling to keep awake but my eyelids were like *droop droop*) the good thing was the food. Which is BAD actually T_T they are so tempting! & I feel like... oh my tian! oh my tian! food T_T It really really tempts me when I'm trying not to eat & everywhere I turn there's nice food around T_T SAD T_T I'm really very weak willed when it comes to food.God, please help me in this area of self control! 1 lesson about 2 hours, tea break, then lesson, then lunch, then lesson then tea break then go home. All the food is catered, though I didn't eat much, only the lunch which sustains me through the terribly monotonous lesson & stuffy atmosphere (coz the air con doesn't work at all now, there's no air circulation in the room) & we report at 8.30am (my normal waking up time is actually... 10am or 12noon) & my mum got me to wake up at 6am. I climbed out of bed thinking, GOD who on earth designated morning as the time to report to work? why not 11am or something?
on the bright side, I made new friends frm TJC! (seriously I didn't noe they were from TJ until they introduced themselves & their school) Angelia from squash & Cheryl dance (: J3s like me ^^ they are really nice & great to hang around with xD somehow a little hi & what are you teaching, what school, which pdp are u from got all 3 of us & natalie talking & we naturally became acquaintances (maybe not exactly friends yet). Wow, I was marvelling at how easy it was to make friends when you're sincere/friendly/take the initiative. & Angelia is from CY & Elliot's sec sch so that got us talking.
We moved around a lot doing the activities though I pretty much stayed within my area in group work for some weird reason, but it was fun getting to work with people you had never seen before. & I met Andrew from my sec 3 & 4 class. he went to IJC & he was gona teach maths there again. it was nice catching up with an andersonian for awhile.
After that I cabbed to Simei Rise. Ok fine, so I said I would trust God but in the end I took cab =.= how on earth is that trusting God? But heys!!! I was really running late, I ended at 5.10pm & the meeting time for unit meeting is at 5pm! Simei & Buona vista are ends apart (for singapore distance) Okies, excuses. Sorry God, but at least I got there just slightly late! ^^ the cab fare really pained me! T_T $26.50. I remember it cause it was like... HEART PAIN T_T but then..really thank God SO MUCH that this week all the food is provided for, so I don't even have to buy breakfast XD So I don't need to spend money this week, which means... I still have money left for saturday ^^ YAY~! really praise God
My contacts were killing me at the unit meet. I was like, trying hard to focus & even a few drops of the solution didn't work, in fact, my right eye hurt more. I was so distracted I was quite disengaged from the games. I have resolved that if I have a long day I will NOT wear contacts. Louis was telling me he had this problem too, it was probably coz his eyes are too sensitive. I was like... TIAN I think I have the same problem too. But if it affects me from concentrating, why should I subject myself to the torture & pain just to look a bit nicer? -.-" doesn't make much sense. Hence Chloe's new policy is now in place ^^ YAY
So all the air-con in the class at first (before it broke down) plus the air-con on the cab (WAH 35% extra charge for peak hour LEHS T_T) plus the air con in the function room of the unit meet. Plus sleeping at 12pm... resulted in Chloe the Red Nose Reindeer this morning. Oh, throw in Chloe the Weird Voice Girl too. (the awful voice when we have cold)
God, I really need Your healing touch! HEAL ME T_T running nose is the worst. When you want to bow your head to pray, the mucus really is so disgusting & distracting. totally annoying.
Restructuring was very scary coz ... I couldn't find myself on the big list of names with the new caregroups. I was like... OH MY TIAN, where am I? did Apinun & Jasmine kick me out of youth? Where am I going now? T_T then it turns out... my name was just accidentally forgotten -.-"
Looking at the new cg list, for some weird reason, I was overwhelmed & suddenly VERY VERY VERY afraid (I was afraid before but the fear escalated from small doses to a dozen large pints) that my job will want me to stay late (even though it's primary school & it's the morning shift) & I can't take leave off to crash orientation. I am STILL VERY VERY VERY afraid despite having prayed about it for such a long time now. i really pray that Mrs Low, as a christian will be more understanding towards this very important responsibility that I really DIE DIE want to do.
I was talking to God during QT this morning, I was thinking, hey if worse come to worse, God, do You think I could quit my job & find a more flexible one? then I was like... ErR- haiyo, God is more powerful than that lahs. He will not throw me to die like that de...[".] GOD, PLEASE HELP ME T_T PLEASE LET MY SUPERVISOR BE SUPER UNDERSTANDING! Stir up her compassion & love for people & Great Commission heart & mindset! PLEASE, anything to not let this job affect what I need to do! Really leh, please use me, God T_T
Please don't let me take CCA! T_T I don't want to take CCA, can anot? Or I take on certain days when I can, certain days I can't make it don't take? T_T PLEASE, God! T_T
After yesterday's super tiring day, I was full of worries when I got home. I was like, I'm so tired after training lehs,I never even teach yet, even if everyone else wait for me to end work (WHAT TIME? I DUNO LEHS T_T OH MY TIAN) in order conduct training, (which is seriously a waste of their time cause it's very unfair) it will be very very exhausting & it will really stretch me.
then I was doing QT, I'm doing book of Zechariah now & God has promised His blessings when the people obey. I really want to be used by God, grow in Him & I really want to love people & for people to come to know Him!!! Which was why I took the step of faith to do it. & what kind of an attitude is this? haven't even start like, want to give up already? *lightning strike & thunder roar in background as Chloe realises how annoying she has been*
I am really so, very priviledged to serve God, that God wants to use me to accomplish His great plan for mankind. I should not be deterred by something as stupid as exhaustion because physically I can be unwell/tired but spiritually I must always be on fire for God & on fire to spread His love! YES!
Chloe, no complaining of exhaustion, no feeling dreary & emo-ing & sian no matter how tired! No doubting that God will not make a way out for me! ^^ You don't emo when you're serving a mighty & loving God who gives you 24 hour company!! the logic is just not there.
God, I really want to be used by You! Whether in teaching young children or whether in spreading Your love to this broken world! If I can't have it both ways, then I will choose the latter.
God, I really pray, please intervene T_T please, please, please intervene & make a way out! I really want to do both if You allow. Why else did You let me get into the internship when my results are really SUPER DUPER crappy? T_T GOD, please help me T_T aaaahhhh T_T
PS: Is DBS/POSB iBanking services ex? I was reading terms & conditions & they said they can just deduct money from you even if u nvr use this service as long as you have applied for it. I was like =.= Decline terms & conditions immediately.
