I think that it is very important for me to be very very dead sure & remind myself why I am serving God. I am serving God that's why I'm serving the church. Not the other way round. I'm NOT serving the church in youth ministry that's why I'm serving God.
I shall be very honest with myself & God in this entry.
Please keep me accountable for all that I type in here. Should I fall away whilst moving on I will come back & read this & slap myself & immediately run back to God. Yes I guarantee that but I need your help in reminding me to come back to read what I typed out of true love for God.
[A] What are my convictions about serving God?
1) I love God because He was the one who extended His hand to me in times of depression & insecurity. Without Him, my life will be majorly screwed up.
2) God loves me & nothing can ever separate me from His love.
3) I am dedicated to walk with Him all the days of my life, even to eternity. Never will I leave God for anything else.
[B] How do I feel about the idea of moving on? HONESTLY!
I am nervous, Lord. I am very afraid I won't adapt well. I have always not been fast at adapting to changes. But then again, Lord, now I have You. It is completely different. With You, there is nothing to fear. I don't have much of an impression of university group yet because we only met on saturday to talk about courses but they are really very nice people! ^^
I am also expectant because I can serve God in a new place & really learn new things. PLUS meet new people (: YAY~ I really pray that I can be a genuine person with friendships that impact others positively (working hard to be one)
In other words, I have mixed feelings about the idea of moving on.
[C] What do I think will cause me to fall away from God? HONESTLY
BGR. God, You know perfectly well my past. With wenfeng also, he was indirectly used to make the best out of a sad situation. I struggle with it alot in the past, Lord. It really took You & so much to let me realise that I am complete in You & I don't need another person to serve You. I don't need another person to be the best I can be.
I must state this very VERY clearly: I am not going to forsake God for anything in this world because nothing is worth forsaking God for.I will not leave because I am weary. that is a crappy excuse. if I am weary I go to God & refresh myself, I DON'T leave or run away. This what I am very firm about. I will not leave God over anything because He is my Lord & Saviour. Without Him I am nothing.I will be given a Godly man in due time, when God thinks I am ready. So I must not waver & be tempted by the Devil & his bait.
Plz help me to look out for this area & God, please let me be alert & always question my own intentions.
[D] What mindset/behaviour do I think I should have when I move on?
Louis said that only people who emo & don't walk right with God will have problems adapting. those who keep thinking that uni sucks & youth rocks. I will not be like this.
Instead of being critical & moping, I will be high & friendly, enthusiastic & warm to make friends with others.I will NOT go with an enclosed mind. I love fellowship, I love knowing people & seeing lives transformed as we grow in God together. I will go with an open heart & mind to really want to follow God as I serve in Uni group.
the God of Uni group & the God of youth group is the same!!! Worship styles, ways of doing things are different but the desire to worship God & fulfill the Great Commission is still the same!
I follow God that's why I'm in church. I'm not following God just because I'm in the youth part of Hope Singapore.
I will make sure my spiritual walk is good & I do my QT dilligently everyday no matter how tired I am. I will always set aside time for God & to really ask myself questions & let God search me. I want to be authentic before God. No more hiding/ masking/ not letting God or the Holy Spirit search me. This is me & I want to be changed by God. He will mould me into a pleasing work of His hands. Even till the day I transfer & after that, I will really walk right with God because I am doing His work.Lord give me more annointing to do Your work, to attract & be relevant, to really appeal & administer godly principles to others.
I really dare to ask in faith Lord, pour out the harvest on TJ caregroup. I love this land so SO MUCH.
[E] What will I do/feel if God chooses me to stay?
If God chooses me to stay, I must know that I am staying not my own selfish reasons/desire to stay in the comfort zone. (actually staying will challenge me out of my comfort zone definitely, I am sure God will make sure of that^^)
It's because I LOVE GOD & God called me to serve Him. If He wants to use me, of course I will without ado say yes even though I am afraid/feel I am inadequate. I want to be a pure & humble vessel for God.
TJ is the land where I met God. I treasure my birth right & I have a burden for this land. without meeting God here, I will be the most screwed up, depressed & insecure person I have ever known!!! I cannot imagine a TJ group that is cui after God brings them to our hands. No, I really want to see it grow & develop into a strong & godly community with hearts that really love God & hands that really serve Him with humility.
Also I must constantly check my heart. I should not even have to worry about pride. Because I am just a vessel. Everything is to lift God's name high. I am priviledged to be called a child of God & all glory goes to His name & Him alone. Just like for my results. Exactly the same thing.
Whatever God has in mind, let His will be done.