ESS is coming!! (:
Today's caregroup was amazing! God really taught me so much throughout the whole of today ^^
I love doing caregroup roles because I really learn a lot from them. Leading worship is really something VERY different from leading testimony, games or holy comm. (Sorry lahs, I really don't exactly volunteer to step out of my comfort zone=.=) I suspect that if God did not prompt me one fine day & I smsed Kangli in great enthusiasm to ask her for a teaching on worship, I will probably not be thrown to lead worship. OPS the word thrown has a negative connotation. I mean, given the priviledge to lead worship.
Louis has given me a whole new perspective on worship leading. & he tried to impart some of his unlimited skills to me. I am really amazed. He was saying that when you lead worship, you will meet God first before anyone else. This is how it ought to be. Then u draw God's hand and the people's hands to each other.
By God's grace, I am slowly learning how to lead worship better & to really be more attuned to the promptings from the Holy Spirit (: Really thank God that I have the chance to serve Him!
Today I was quite irritable, exhausted & grumpy on the bus to tampines mrt. Then I saw that this bus stop had the bus 28 to go to Liyin's house for cg. So I pressed the bell too late & had to get down the next stop which did not have bus 28. So I walked all the way back to the previous stop under the hot sun in a BLACK TJ chinese drama t-shirt=.= When I was some distance from the traffic light, I saw the bus 28 drive off. I was like !!!! GOD, NO!!!
Demoralised & upset, I was like... GOD, WHY?! So unfair! It's not like I was slacking the whole day away. We were slogging for You in TJ! T_T *sobs & whines* Then for some reason, when I crossed the traffic light, I saw a double decked bus 28. I was like !!! I boarded the bus & managed to get a seat to rest.
On the bus, I was like... Okay, God, I know I was so unfair to You, for blaming You. & yet You still gave me another bus 28. Like talk about GRACE! (Getting more than what you deserve) So I was reading the Bible & God gave me a verse about how God works for the good of those who love Him.
In caregroup combined with MJ pioneers, God reminded me again & again. When you do God's work, do it with Him. Sow in the Spirit & we'll reap supernatural results. YES & AMEN (:
Apinun asked us today in cg...Why are we pioneering? Do we lose sight of why when we get so caught up in doing it? What do we consider as successful? How will pioneering be considered a success? Is it the number of converts?
Nicole said, no matter if we get 10 holy converts, or 1 unholy convert or even no converts, it is a success if we know that we did it to our best with God & for God.
& yes, it really makes sense. As we were whacking in TJ in the afternoon, I was with Shiwei. & I was experiencing a discouragement wave. I was thinking, hey God, this is really cui. this is not what Your kingdom should be like. I really had faith that we would have a huge influx of visitors, why is it like that now?
Why I felt this way was because I was so caught up in the goal of having a harvest that having a harvest became my indicator of success. No, it is not. It should not be. & it MUST not be.
When I am using the number of people who come for ESS/ come to know God as a success indicator, I am already losing the meaning behind the goal of 4 souls by 14th march. the meaning behind pioneering.
Yes, I am pioneering because God is really so good to me & my life would be a mess if He had not extended His hand to me. & I don't want the people to miss out on a life that is worth living for, to know what it is like to have God on their side.
Yes Lord, we sow with faith & conviction. Not with cynicism & mundanity & monotonous routine.
& we are a team & a family bonded by the love of God.
Even though I am not at ESS, my prayers, my Spirit, my heart, my mind, my soul will be with my team. Tj pioneers, really jiayou with God for God! ^^ I really pray that when I am in Shanghai freezing in my winter wear... I will receive a sms from Louis saying "Chloe, really praise God, people are saved & got to know our mighty God!" I have the faith that this will happen. Because there is nothing that is too difficult for the Lord my God.
MJ pioneers, jiayou & continue to ask them down & to persevere too! (:
Emmanuel: God is with us
I really want to look back at this pioneering period after I move on & tell God:
God, thank You for giving me the opportunity to choose to step out of my comfort zone. I really pioneered with You. You have been so faithful to me & You were with me throughout this entire exhausting & gruelling period. Even though I face discouragement, Your love gave me the strength to carry on & to persevere.
I really gave my best & You topped up the rest.
This is what I want to tell God. & I only hope that this will bring a smile to His face.
