On the 5th January 2008, I welcomed Jesus into my life
1 month into the walk I was still very much emotional, sian with life & blogging a lot of depressing stuff
4 months into the walk I was still letting my emotions run me over as I screamed at people while preparing for Chinese Drama performance
4.2 months into the walk my parents threatened not to pay for my uni fees if I continued in my faith
4.5 months into the walk I was still reluctant to let old habits die
4.7 months into the walk I was planning to backslide & leave church
5 months into the walk I emerged of Oasis camp higher, wider, deeper in my faith. I was Holy Spirit baptised
6 months into the walk I finally woke up & realised that I could do so much more in my remaining JC life
7 months into the walk I tried my best to outreach in the dry season in TJC
8 months into the walk I was discouraged by circumstances. I felt abandoned. I felt like I had to go through exam stress, the dry ministry alone. I was very rude to my CL for the first time since I started to understand God & serving His kingdom more
9 months into the walk I was still cutting "God bless you, all the best for exams," pasting them on yupi sweets & giving them to juniors to bless them right after prelims
10 months into the walk I took my A levels with God by my side & with His strength
11 months into the walk it was Heroes camp, my 2nd church camp. I had a major breakthrough in a stronghold: Guilt. I responded to the call to continue to stay to help TJ caregroup grow.
11 months into the walk it was my first Christmas truly knowing God. Kangli my shepherd & Louis my CL asked me to share testimony during unit meet celebration. I did, with trembling hands & a nervous voice. My sister & my brother were there to hear it. They went for Christmas service too. Leading a carolling team with Ruixian from Dunman High, we went about carolling. That night was so powerful because I was used as a channel of blessing. I was reminded of God's goodness in my life all over again.
11.5 months into the walk, I wanted to join the pioneering team for TJ or MJ.
January 20091 year into the walk, I was in the pioneering team for TJ. After much deliberation & finding it difficult to juggle, I terminated my MOE internship & decided to give God & His kingdom this time
12 months into the walk, I learnt to lead worship from the best slave-driver aroud- Louis
12-14 months into the walk, pioneering took a toll on me, especially when God didn't seem to answer our prayers
13 months into the walk, God gave me my first sheep, Xianjue
13 months into the walk, God blessed me with amazing A level results & different from when I chose my JC, I chose a school based on what I liked & wanted to do
15 months into the walk, TJ group was formed
16 months into the walk, Liyin & I stayed back to disciple the people in TJ MJ caregroup
17 months into the walk, my 3rd church camp Unstoppable was spent with the feeling of leaving the ministry. Still, God spoke into the lives of our people. Nicole gave me a prophetic word. I made the same promise I made at the 1st camp to God to see Him at the end of the race
1.5 years into the walk, I joined the UniYA ministry, NYCB1 caregroup. Overwhelmed by the changes in ministry & in school life, I couldn't cope. I thought it was because I'm unspiritual (LOLS)
19 months into the walk, I started to capture the heartbeat of NYC more & more. I began to see once again, why I am doing what I am doing. I began to remind myself, what are my convictions before the transfer? Are they still my convictions here?
20 months into the walk, I decided this was it. I only have 1 university period in my life. I want to make it count. I learnt to be more pro-active & stop being a leecher & expecting other people to do everything. I derived my joy from the Lord.
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God is not the one who needs reminding. We are often the forgetful ones who do not remember what God has done in our lives.
I confess. I forget.
But I don't want to. Everytime I do, I just need to look back on my life. What has changed?
I remember Louis once told me this, from someone who gave her all to chase after temporal things & security, by God's grace, I became someone who gave her all to chase after God's heart.
I want to become like what he described, to be so intent on loving Him & doing everything for Him.
Remind me again, why I am here. Why am I running this race? Why am I giving my time, resources, talents to His Kingdom & His people? Why do I care if people around me know His name?
God, give me the courage to do everything to my best because I know my best is enough for You. You are my biggest cheerleader & the claps I want to hear most are from You, not the people around.
If I had the courage back then to talk to strangers I never knew before & to use cliche pick up methods to spread His love, I don't see why I can't lead prayers, I don't see why I can't lead worship, I don't see why I can't prophesy God's Word, I don't see why I can't spread the Word to people in Comm Studies
I... dream big for God
I pray that I will slowly take more steps towards fulfilling my dream for You
